It’s a man’s world. I’m pretty sure this statement isn’t new to anyone. As gender bias as it sounds over the year’s feminist, NGOs, movements and activist groups have as their goal to empower young girls and women to fight such dehumanising and derogatory expressions.

Now every single organisation, association, company is advocating for the rights of girls. Not so much is done about protecting the male child. So much is assumes based on social constructs but aren’t we all humans?

Maybe not every day but yes men are being violated, men are being harassed, and men also have emotions and are not just some superhero. Why is it that we men open up about their insecurities or harassment the world shames them for not being manly enough? The only time men are allowed to complaint about a sexual harassment is if it’s the case of homosexuals with straight men.

Blue Smoke
Photo by Blake Connally / Unsplash

Recently social media has been buzzing with videos of men crying over a heartbreak. But guess what? The comment section is littered with things like oh! He is not manly, oh! He acts like a girl. So only women are expected to feel hurt after a breakup ad men not too hurt to the extent of crying? Aren’t we just humans? If the reverse were true comments will read as such men are wicked, men will pour red oil on your white dress and soon. The society has made seem men are invulnerable. Truth is sexual and emotional damage unchecked can bring out the best or the worst in people.

In a focus group interview carried out by The Guardian Post, involving six participants, they each shared their stories of sexual violation, sex for bet, and rejection. Henry Mojoko a 23 year old in the university of Buea revealed he was sexually harassed a teen by a sister friend. “I was 13 years old when my older sister’s friend came home for the weekend. No one was home yet and she forced herself on me. She was bigger and older. It caused me trust issues. I can’t tell people about this because I will be ridiculed. I tried sharing it at first but no one took me serious” said Mojoko. Joseph Wopong a nursing student shared his experience with sex for bet with his girlfriend. He said “There I was thinking I found love meanwhile all along the girl had a bet with her friends to have sex with me and dumb me. When I discovered I felt so broken, I don’t think I can trust women again.” Arelen Wandia a restaurant chef revealed he was raped as a child by the then maid. “There was no way I was telling anyone, no one would believe me. Funny thing is I still keep in touch with her, I have forgiven her but I am scared she might do it to someone again!” others also shared their experiences that centred on things like verbal sexual harassment, unsolicited hugs or cuddling.

If a man approaches a girl and is rejected, it happens those we like may not like us back. But when a woman is rejected by a man, people focus on the woman’s courage and say the man isn’t considerate and isn’t gentle. Please why are women not considerate too? We all are humans we deserve to be treated with equity and respect. Let’s stop damaging our men by letting them carry on with unresolved trauma for fear of stigmatisation.

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