Healthy Sex or Addiction?

Sex is great! It has numerous health benefits such as lowers blood pressure, counts as exercise, improve prostate cancer risk, lowers heart attack risk amongst others, but just like any other good thing compulsive practice of it has its down sides.

Sexual impulses are natural, but sex addiction isn't. It refers to the lack of control over sexual thoughts, urges, and impulses. Sex addicts will do whatever it takes to satisfy their urges despite the consequences. Sexual addiction can manifest itself in; prostitution, watching pornography, and masturbation or sexual fantasy. Extreme addicts can be violent in their obsessive thoughts, this sometimes may result to nymphomaniac or Paedophilia.

Although sex addiction is not listed as a diagnosable condition in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, research indicates that excess sexual behaviour can develop, like a chemical addiction.

There are six main causes of sexual addictions, which are biological, physiological, spiritual, trauma based and intimacy anorexia.

Biological sex addict is someone whose excessive masturbation and pornography viewing has hijacked the sexual response to attaching to images and fantasy. This person may have challenges with having ‘normal’ sex.

Psychological sex addicts have suffered some form of past abuse or neglect. This persons rely on sexual stimulation virtually or physically to feel good about themselves. Simply put, they medicate the past pain in their souls by sexually acting out.

Spiritual sex addicts are people looking for a spiritual connection in all the wrong places. This person tries sex for this spiritual void and finds it doesn’t scratch the itch over time. People have multiple partners for the sake of finding a soul mate.

Trauma based sex addicts are person who have experienced sexual trauma(s) as a child or adolescent. This trauma becomes the major repetitive behaviour in their addiction. Sadists are classical examples of this. Depending on the type of trauma experienced, it determines the flavour of the sexual addiction.

Finally, many addicts who have been trying to get sober but keep having what is known as “flat tire” recovery (relapsing regularly) often are identified as intimacy anorexics. Intimacy anorexia is a term coined by psychologist Dr. Doug Weiss, to explain why some people actively withhold emotional, spiritual, and sexual intimacy from a partner. Issues related to emotional or physical intimacy can have a major impact on romantic relationships. Loving someone, after all, generally means you want to share thoughts, feelings, and physical affection.