The Inverse Effect, Making The Victim The Bad Guy

‘I understand you’ is unarguably the most inappropriate form of consolation that exists because let’s be honest, half the time this statement is used, they can’t even fathom the depth of what you really are going through. I knew about rape, the very thought of it gave me a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. I remember reading up rape cases and burning with rage just thinking of all the vile things I could do to  the rapist to make them pay for their crime, but how come when it was my turn I froze? Where did all the anger and rage go?

I remember it like it was just yesterday. I can still taste the fear like bile rising in my throat because when I close my eyes and go to sleep in the dark, I'm back in that alley, with a knife held to my throat begging for mercy, crying for help. I don’t share my story because when I do people ask me why I was out alone at night as if i don’t have rights to roam the streets as I please. Society condones the act of rape; they fuel the rapist, always making excuses for them, judging the victims rather than the perpetuators. "Why was she out alone, why was she wearing something so revealing, why didn’t she fight or scream loud enough". The victim becomes the bad guy and why not? She pushed the guy to do what he did.

I lost faith inhumanity, ironically it wasn’t because of the human being that almost stole my innocence, it was because of the spectators who watched my struggle like a movie behind their closed doors from their windows when all I needed was a voice so I knew I wasn’t alone, a flicker of light to give me hope. No one came to my rescue, apparently only princesses deserve a prince charming. The light in the world must have died with Christ because the world is a dark place that dims out the light or what is left of it.

I fought my way out of the situation and saved myself, I was my own prince charming because no one else was going to be. But the trauma still lingers, the thought of what could’ve been is enough to make me breakout in cold hives at midnight. What more of those who couldn’t save themselves? Those who passed through all five stages of trauma and instead of receiving love are made the villain in their own stories? The world without even knowing legalised rape, flipped on the victims and gave rapist a legal standing so victims tend to hide their trauma  and feel ashamed of being violated, like they wanted it to happen.

Violating a girl goes deeper than physical assault, it’s verbal; every sexual insinuation, it’s in the stares that make them feel uncomfortable. The world is so busy fighting against terrorist when the real villains are out and about in dashing suits and flashy cars.  In our modern day society, that villain is no stranger lurking in the dark, he's a father , a brother, a friend, a guardian, he's someone we trust.  It’s time to put our foot down and say no to gender based violence(GBV). Every female deserves to feel safe in her surroundings like every other male.