The first bonds formed in life are bonds between mothers and their babies. From the womb the child’s only source of life is their mother, a bond which should be unbreakable. The parent-child relationship is a key contributor to personality, behavior and above all, life choices of the child. A good parent-child relationship is more important than a lot of parents realize.

Growing up  is a hassle on its own but the lack of emotional attachment plays a big role in the life of a child.  A parent should be the first confidant of a child, ready to listen and input when need be. Being pragmatic won’t get you far with any child, they need people who love, care and understand them. Crack jokes with them, play with them, be a part of their lives.

The relationship you have with your child when they are young determines the relationship you have when they grow up. In African society, it is very uncommon to find parents having tight knitted bonds with their kids; parents who know the social life of their children, who have more interest in their kids asides their grades and career path.

These kids grow up facing life challenges on their own because they don’t feel comfortable talking to their parents. They date the wrong people and make wrong decisions because their parents never gave them sex education but somehow expect them to maneuver the jungle that is life and figure it out all on their own when they could learn from their mistakes and avoid related situations all together.  

An emotionally unavailable individual is then born; ‘You can’t give what you don't have’. Conversations become limited to the needful; stoic, formal, impersonal. They grow up, move out and never visit, barely call but can you really blame them? They were raced without love; not taught the values of care and communication. Then you start wondering why they never call or text, why they never visit. You play the victim forgetting that they are a mirror of their upbringing.

When it comes to building a relationship with your children, there’s no ‘one size fits all’. Every child will need a different approach based on their personality. But one thing that is certain is that there is a recipe that never goes wrong when raising your kids ; love, care, communication and interaction,the recipe for raising them right.

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